Bob Gilliam, President

Would you be surprised to know that last month I had the privilege of talking three pastors out of resigning (at least for the time being)? Probably not. In my experience, the dreary cold of winter heightens the discouragement church leaders frequently experience. In times of desperation, many of these godly people call me (and I’m so glad they do) to talk through their frustration and disheartenment. For some, discouragement is a compelling reason, even a sign from God, that they should leave their church or maybe get out of the ministry for good.

Perhaps, in the privacy and protection of your study, you find yourself identifying too much with the gloom of winter, or maybe you are a church leader who fights similar battles with discouragement in your own endeavors. At any rate, if you are reading this newsletter you are probably in a strategic position to encourage someone who very much needs it, perhaps even right now.

May I offer
some encouragement
from one
who has frequently
been discouraged, too?

I don’t want to shock you, but may I suggest that the experience of discouragement is actually a necessary ingredient (however little we welcome it) in our spiritual growth? Sound far-fetched? Let me explain.

Surely you would agree that God’s will for every Christian is to continue experiencing spiritual growth throughout our lives. Now, to grow, each of us must experience and handle increasingly difficult trials. That’s where God comes in. He is the Master of knowing just how much we can handle and what challenges he will allow us to face. So, as we mature in our faith, God allows us to take on greater challenges (trials) in our lives – not to punish us, not because we have disappointed Him – but because He loves us, and we need those very trials to grow.

Unfortunately, as humans, our expectations are defined by our past experience and when we encounter a trial that exceeds our experience, we are disappointed and discouraged. That’s human nature. But this discouragement is really a sign that God is still at work in our lives. If He did not give us a large enough trial to discourage us, we would not really grow.

I have shared with some of you that when I was only two years old, my father, a lifeguard, taught me how to swim. I would stand on the side of the pool. He would stand in the water and say, “Jump to me, Bobby!” I would jump into the water, flail my arms madly, and he would quickly pick me up in his arms.

But after a few repetitions, my Dad began to do something I hated! He would say, “Jump to me, Bobby.” I would jump and flail, but just as I reached out for him, he would take a step backwards in the water. What was a two-year-old to do? I knew I was going to drown right there. All two years of my life flashed before my eyes. I started screaming and whining and spitting water.

I accused my Dad of terrible things in monosyllables, but he just stood there until my flailing arms brought me close enough to grab him. Then he put me back on the bank and said (you guessed it) “Jump to me, Bobby.” Like an idiot, or a two-year-old, I jumped right back in and the near-death experience was repeated.

One day, I was kicking and whining and bemoaning my untimely death by drowning when I reached out for my Dad and, instead, grabbed the other side of the pool. Imagine the discouragement, the disappointment that went into this experience. But all of it was just a necessary ingredient of growth. And so it is in your life, too.

If you are discouraged, here are four things you can remember to help you — not to escape discouragement, but rather to navigate its unexpected emotional curves.

First, never forget who is in control.

Many times pastors, and lay leaders too, increase their discouragement because those who oppose them seem to have control. (So the most logical avenue of relief would be going anywhere these people aren’t.) But the truth is, God has not relinquished control of the situation. Like my Dad, He knows exactly how much you and I can take (which is always more than we are willing to admit) and He can reach out and pull us out of the water in an instant. Rather than a sign of His displeasure or lack of concern . . .

God’s often waits
till the last minute
to accomplish all of His purposes,
one of which is to ensure
our greatest benefit.

Reminding yourself that God is in total control and that in His great love and wisdom He is never late, can help curb our discouragement.

Second, remember Christ’s model.

Hebrews 12:3 tells us, For consider him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you may not grow weary and lose heart.

There are at least two points made in this verse. Remind yourself of something you have probably told many others: the opposition, and perhaps cruelty you may face, is not to be taken as God’s disapproval, since Christ Himself experienced these. It is also clear that if Christ as a human endured these things, other men – even you – can too. Though discouraged, we are not to lose heart – to see our plight as impossible and give up. Jesus is our model. Isaiah, the prophet, gives us a glimpse at the discouragement felt by the Messiah. In this prophecy the Messiah says, But I said, I have toiled in vain. I have spent my strength for nothing and vanity… (Isaiah 49:4). Surely these are words of discouragement – but not of one who gives in to it! When we are discouraged, we are to remember Jesus, our model. While discouraged, we should remember that God is still with us and that we can keep on going.

Third, Remember Your Reward.

Like a coach handing a water bottle to a marathon runner struggling up heartbreak hill, the writer of Hebrews tells us, You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised (Hebrews 10:36). Yes, the road is hard. Yes, you will be persecuted, slandered, perhaps even physically harmed. But it will be worth it. The reward is incomparably greater than the suffering. Do you really want that reward? Keep it in mind. It will give you endurance during discouragement.

Finally, Remember Your Purpose.

When all is said and done, remember that it will not matter who disagreed with you. It will not matter what you gained or lost. What matters is that you glorified Christ. Paul know exactly how we feel as he speaks from a prison cell about his own adversaries but what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice (Philippians 1:18).

In his masterful book, The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis gives us a fictional collection of letters from a demon, Uncle Screwtape, to his nephew, Wormwood, whose demonic assignment is to lead a Christian astray. At one point, Wormwood is heartened because “his Christian” is discouraged. At last, he feels he has this Christian right where he wants him. Screwtape, however, in none too sure, warning Wormwood that in order to build character, God has allowed some of his favorite humans to go through longer and deeper troughs of despair than anyone else. He concludes by saying,

“Our plight is never more in danger than when one of these Christians, willing, but no longer desiring to obey, looks at a creation from which all signs of God seem to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys!”

If I could be there with you and could feel the freedom, I would put my arm around you and ask you . . . please don’t think of this experience as a sign that God has abandoned you, that He is against you. Take heart! Just the opposite is true. Your discouragement is evidence that God is in the process of helping you grow to the next level. Discouragement is simply an unwanted ingredient in spiritual growth. Remember, God is in control. Follow Jesus’ model. Remember your reward. And then, even (especially) in your discouragement, keep on obeying and glorifying God.

After all, if you are discouraged you must be one of God’s favorite humans, too!

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