Coercion & Spiritual Gift Inventories
 

I could barely find my way to the pulpit, in those days, yet my Senior Pastor was forcing me to lead congregational singing for the worship service that Sunday and I was less than happy!

Knute Larson (now at the Chapel in Akron) was preaching, doing the announcements, the mission’s moment, and even directing the choir in a pinch.  Then on Sunday evenings, before I arrived as his first additional program staff member, he was also leading the Jr. High youth program before preaching at the evening service, and then doing the Sr. High afterwards.  Did I mention that he led the singing during the evening service, too?  Well, you get the picture . . . . and you understand why I had a hard time holding fast to my determination not to humiliate myself in so public a fashion.

I got up well before dawn that Sunday morning and went out to the Perkins Pancake House just off the interstate to get some much-needed sustenance.  My system had flushed itself clean as if to better dedicate its energies to getting me through that morning.  Over and over I had rehearsed all the hymns in front of a mirror, hoping my hand motions would suddenly begin to look slightly more natural.  I was certain when I sang out those first few notes to “Amazing Grace,” while beating the air in three-four time, that the whole congregation would burst out laughing at the nervous sound of my voice.

I remember thinking
the only thing worse that could have happened to me that day was if I had failed miserably . . .

but as God would have it, I wasn't hopeless enough to prevent my becoming the regular song leader.  There were no gales of laughter and people managed to stay on beat — even if I didn’t.  In time, I got to the place where I even enjoyed leading in worship. 

I guess that illustrates how I feel about spiritual gift inventories.  The last I checked, the Apostle Paul had not identified song leading as a spiritual gift.  However, I believe the ones he does list are suggestive rather than definitive.  The problem is when we put together an inventory that helps people determine what their gifts are, such inventories can only rely on personal experience.  “Do people tend to ignore you when you’re teaching a lesson?” — that sort of thing.  Most people have never even tried many of the ministries on which they are queried.  Even then, when we take the risk and feel like failures, it is often because we need to develop some necessary skills. 

If there had been anyone else even remotely able to lead singing, I  never would have gotten up there and would be much the poorer for it.  Nor would I have felt confident enough to later begin singing solos in worship.  Well, perhaps “feeling confident enough” overstates it a bit.  You see, along with a dearth of song-leaders, the church had very little special music.  I’m certain Knute would have been singing solos, too, but somehow that was omitted from the many gifts God did indeed give him.  So Knute cajoled and coaxed and I rehearsed and rehearsed — always backing out at the last minute.  Then I came into the office one day to see Sunday’s freshly printed bulletin with my name designated as the morning soloist!  Knute just smiled.

I never grew more than in those two years (and in my first years as a solo pastor) when I was forced to fill one gap after another — sometimes finding gifts, more often just feeling the thrill of the Spirit’s sufficiency.  You would never have convinced me before the fact, that when I left that internship to return to school, one of the things I would miss most was my ministry of music in that congregation.

Lessons